xtadecitrus

It feels like I havent written for a while. So here’s the recap of what I have passed this week.

The theme test exam was finally out and as I told u in the previous blog, I knew I wouldnt pass it. I was correct so I attended the discussion class and the teacher figured that he didnt teach some of us what he taught to the other classes. F*in’ moron!! (Sorry Mr.H cant stand ma emotion).

After I got home from school 2 days ago, I opened ma FB and whoaaa! My bf updated his status! Internet access to public website meant he was in the port! Ma heart really jumped from excitement :$ Hehe.. Ehem.. new couple, first deployment. Navy gfs would know how I was feeling. So we had a webcam chat. He looked awesome with that bald head and thin beard. Remember the reason why I signed up in buddyslim?? Becuz of his challenge, right? LOL He commented on me 3 times, ladies!!! 3 times

1. btw… you look great! i can tell you slimmed down
2. (bla bla bla we were talking about navy regulation and blablabla….) on a side note: youre looking so cute right now and for the past 30min… youre glowing…
3. (and finally before he signed off… ) **seriously though, you look great**

HAHAHAHA… and you know wud?? MA SCALE DID NOT BUDGE… i didnt realize ma progress and kept complaining about my stubbornly stable weight but actually if u took time earlier how my belly didnt bulge anymore, how my ‘flabby sides’ didnt stick out as much anymore, how my obliques and curve were more toned and curvier, I would have been happier. I noticed that today. With the same fitness pants I usually wore, I usually looked up in the mirror and told ma self how I hated the side bulge. And now it is barely there.

So today I took the final exam and I think I did it twice better as before. YAY finally zummaholidaee!!! Ma friend asked me if I would like to be a nail art model for her friend that studies it. I was like, alright wat the heck. If I dun like it I cud just remove it. That simple. Besides I was kinda tired of wearing this untreated long nails Ive grown for the last 2 months. AND DANG!!! To cut the story short, I went home upset and didnt show it to anyone. I was really trying to feel ok but in fact:
1/ since the moment I felt how she treated my hand, I knew she didnt care. I mean, she was so rough.
2/ DAMN I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS ACRYLIC!!!! SEMI PERMANENT NAIL ART THAT CAN WEAKEN UR NAILS.. DAMMNNN!! Y’all know I am against anything fake…
3/ I bled. She used this machine that worked like a drill with cylinder tip to thin the acrylic but she ‘drilled’ ma skin as well..! And when she changed the tip into the pointy one, she did it again… I severely bled… T____T ( I knew I agreed to be a guinea pig but nobody told me there’d be blood sacrificed!) Huhuhu…
4/ I am not happy with the result… I cant type very comfortably right now. I cant cook and chop as quickly as before. Everything becomes so hard to do. and to get rid of these nails I need a cup of acetone and soak ma fingers there for 30 minutes.. DANG! Huks… My skin’s gonna be so dehydrated.
5/ The most: I didnt get a chance to talk wid ma bf again.. I am afraid he’s pulling out tomorrow. I wont be able to see him for months again.. And I spent that time I cud use to talk with him to this nail art shop.. OH SILLY MEEEE… T___T

I only ate oatmeal in the morning and some brownies before the test. As soon as I reached home, I re-heated the chicken thighs and ate them. I took 2 mini tortillas from the fridge and ate them. I took the brownies and ate them. I took 2 nectarines and ate them. I took the curry potatoes with vegan mean and ate them! I took a slice of cheese and ate them! I finished with 2 servings of soy milk. Now y’all tell me what I am…

I WAS SO UPSET with all of this! Bleeding, fake nails, missing the (probably last) time I cud see ma bf..AAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!! So… after I ate.. I reflected.. damn what did i do? what the hell did I just do??? I open exercisetv.tv and followed the 20 min Cardio Tease, 20 min Cardio Blast, and 30 min Bootcamp Calorie Burn. I burned 1.5x I should this week and ma week ends in 2 days. I feel a lot better now. Perhaps u could try that too…

As a continuation of the previous post of pigging out on Sunday.. My friend reminded me of kidney problem if I drink too much green tea. Anything with ‘too’ is never good. Yeah. So after I got home, I drank water instead. Then I went to bed. I didnt have any nightmare or anything but I woke up 3x to pee. And in the next morning I feel that my fat belly was flat again. WHoa! I know that there will still be some leftover of the nutrients in my body so today I decided to do 3 video lasting 40 minutes in total. Celebrity Shred by Holly Perkins and Six Pack Abs Calorie Burn and Strong and Sexy Upper Body Burn by Cindy Whitmarsh. Everything would have been perfect if I didnt skip my breakfast and lunch and packed everything to my dinner at 4 pm! And the craziest thing is that I ate 1000 kcal in one go!

1. Three 10-cm tortillas: 2 big mushrooms + 2 shallots + 100 gr turkey ham + pureed tomato + pesto + sweet soy sauce + 3 iceberg lettuce
2. 400 ml soy milk
3. 3 handfuls of peanuts
4. 1 peach

Oh great! I wish I could double my endurance to workout…

*I feel active again! One thing I just realized .. When I am inactive I always let my hair down. Back when I was in the volleyball team I had always been the ponytailed gurl. Now I keep updoing it.. sumhow.
*Passed Biochem + Microbio wid 8 yay! I didnt expect that. I learn sum parts of the biochem from this site hahahha.. connecting it to weight loss and stuffs, haha ya know what i mean..
* BACK TO INDONESIA IN NINE DAYS tralalalalalaaaa

Hahaha..
I dunno why I stop feeling guilty about pigging out on Sundays. Well for short I have been exercising very diligently and watching my calorie intake during weekdays that I think one wiggly Sunday is good for my mental health. But I couldnt leave my exercise yet, I am feeling the need to burn everyday. I will take a rest tomorrow for my muscle recovery. I hope I can get over my guilty feeling like this and control my portion better. Although the dinner I had was big, it was a bunch of healthy food. Cant say its a good portion though.

But well tomorrow’s another week. Another fight to start with and I am ready for those challenges again.

Btw, after a week of no news from my deployed bf, he finally sent me a long email saying that he’s gonna be at a port soon. I dunno where but port means i can see him with webcam or even have a phone call :)) His sister also sent me an uplifting FB mail.

The reason why I had big meal for dinner was there was a group meeting (4 of us are asian food lovers: 2 Vietz, 1 Indo, and 1 Thai). We finished 90% of the last assignment and waiting for the last touch which is gonna be completed by the editor. I am also almost done with the evaluation report and portfolio for this semester. Ahhhh… Those things made my day.

And yay.. I love y’all girlz for helping me with my weight problem. Its not just I learn that I need to exercise to lose weight I am also introduced to healthy lifestyle I want to have for all my life. (Pst, those 2 pounds I was complaining was probably only water intake that increases indicating muscle growth.. it needs some more blood flow too right?)

I cant wait to go back to Indo..

O yea also took ma progress pic.

I followed 20 min Big Day Bootcamp from Terri Ann Krefting and 10 min Booty Burn from Cindy Whitmarsh today. I finally sweat. Love tha’ feeling! Tried to do pilates but err.. I think I am not too patient for that exercise. Haha. Anyway.. I am so happy with the progress! This is the first time I looked ma abs in the mirror and noticed two lines near ma ribs. How do u call it again??

Yea.. so its finally over.. NOT! exams are over but I messed up the first one. I am positive that I have to redo it again. I guess the whole class has to redo it again. We have never seen some of the questions even! We were never been taught about that before. Alright. So I dun feel like I was the dumbest person in the world. Ok maybe second or third for leaving the blanks open. I shoulda written something. Just anything..

I still gotta do ma evaluation report and presentation to the company that supervised us. The project was quite fun. Signal peptide vs gene deletion. Yea and I got gene deletion which is more difficult.. I think ^^ But its fun.

Anyway, exercise is still going on. I took a break 2 days ago. But only for 1 day. Strange is that I gained weight (1-2 lbs) even after increasing my exercise frequency up to everyday just because I started to eat carbs such as oatmeal and barley. Whoah, does it mean I cant eat carbs anymore? Even the healthiest ones? When I lost some, I actually was home all day, studying. And I need to munch something when I am studying. That choice of snack fell on veggies. So yeah ma calorie intake was mainly from protein, veggies and nuts. What I realized more is that now my body becomes a bit lazy. Its not as energized as before. I thought by incorporating carbs into my meal I would feel better. But in fact, I got sore body even after just 1-2 exercise program (40 mins). I usually could do 60 mins.

Possible explanation (this is the only one reason I love Biochem):

Ok according to what I studied, sore on the muscles = lactate accumulation. Lactate comes from anaerobic (without O2) fermentation of glucose (when I am exercising weight for example). Meaning if I had glucose supply, my body will start producing lactate. So should I just eliminate carbs intake? Or should I try more cardio (with O2)? Then Lactate wont be formed. Well, veggies are starch = carb source too. It will eventually broken down into glucose. When glucose is depleted, fat will be burned. To burn fat in healthy manner (not forming ketone bodies, or else I’d smell like acetone), glucose is needed to produce the fuel (oxaloacetate). This can only be done with O2 presence. Hmm..  So the key is keeping the glucose level low but not completely none. Just enuf to fuel fat burning. Conclusion: I think I have to do more cardio and minimize my carb source.

Let me know ur opinion… (doesnt have to be biochemically explainable) I want something from ur experience Have a nice productive week.

Oh and btw I made ma first American pancake (to differ it from Dutch pancake which is supa thin , supa wide n supa filling):

1 cup of oatmeal

1/2 cup of cottage cheese

3 egg whites

Thats all. Perfecto! Protein boost in the morning! Bad thing is that I had to put syrup on it so.. yea simple carb intake.. Gotta burn gotta burn agaaainnn!!

Fave trainer this week : Terri Ann K.

I just wanna grunt right now.

- Dropped my iron onto my leg and it swells now.

- Couldnt do ma theme test. Stupidity of own’s mind.

- Got soakin’ wet on the way home (super down mood MODE: ON)

- Lost one of ma important receipts

- Water drops from ma window… errrgghh

- Messed up with ma black beans burgers, glad ma neighbour liked ‘em.

I ate fried calamari rings (ma fave seafood) that I oven-baked.. And disliked it! I couldnt believe it.. I am so not made for oils and flour anymore… Lesson learned.  Even I dun like the black beans burger, partly becuz I can taste oil in it. Dang! What’s happening to me? I used to be an omnivore. Mum’s gonna be so angry to see I am turning picky.

I did. I really did. I ate about 34 gr instant noodles which is simple carb. OMG. I am running out of milk so I cant make oatmeal right now. T___T Anyone know any substitute for milk in oatmeal? But anyway, I ate three cups of tofu stir fry wid onion and green pepper. It was awesome but not filling enough. Apart from that I also munched a handful of pumpkin seeds. Now I am drinking ma fave green tea as usual. I wonder if this was a bad breakfast…? Tell me what u think! (OMG I just remembered I still have uncooked barley! Oh stupid!)

So I have been locking myself up my room since 2 days ago. Gotta prepare for exam. Been laying on my sofabed with  Powerpoint, 5 cm-thick Microbiology book, my notes, and blank pages where I summarized them all. I finished summarizing Biochem last week. This means I didnt move a single muscle (too hyperbolic, but anyway…) except for stretching ma back once in a while. I am tired of studying. I am sorta kinda a bit good at chemistry back in highschool but not at organic chemistry. Now I am finding myself in Biochemistry… >___< which consists of AAAALLLLLL organic chemistry (I think I entered the wrong faculty) Good thing is that I know more about body metabolism.. in too-detailed manner. But those structures, pathways, and enzymes drive me krazey!

Yesterday I finished it at 12 o clock mid nite! And since I felt like I needed to burn some calories, I exercised, I mean my whole body felt so lazy, I had to give it some wiggling: Freshman 15 –> only half (10 min) cuz I cudnt take it anymore, ma movements were uncontrollable and Bikini Body workout 20 min..I cant wait to finish this course so I can relaxx in ma hometown, have ma vacation in Bali and start the next term freshly with Plant Tech.

Tomorrow’s the theme test. Wish me luck.

- Am I seeing things or what? I didnt know that you could access Facebook from a military ship. O__o Err am I supposed to be happy or worried?  -

I weighed in this morning and I am surprised to see that nail pointing at 123! 55.5 kilo! This is even lower than when I first came to the NL! Thx to all people out there who has been supporting me with their comments, tips, experience, knowledge, even the slightest one with a smiley. I love you girls…

I had to ‘rescue’ my salmon and chicken’s heart from rotting! With all things I could find in the fridge, I made chicken’s heart  soup (with lettuce, 1 cube maggie chicken broth  [how do u call it?], onion spring, and 2 small chillies) and salad. With the same ingredients as yesterday: canned salmon, lettuce, yellow pepper, and cherry tomatoes. Oh they’re sooo good. I ate a small bowl (miso bowl) of chicken’s heart soup and 1/3 the big salad bowl (last post). I felt great! I follow Jennifer’s tips on ‘listening to ur body’. I look at my bowl each time I spoon something and keep evaluating whether I want more. I will eat the rest of the salad and  another bowl of the soup later for dinner.

Once again thx all!

It is 11.30 pm and I just finished exercising. Yeah I gotta let my head cool down after heating with Microbiology… (bacteria, enzymes, C, N, O, P, pathways.. it’s driving me crazy but Im looking forward to 17 June and it’ll all be finished phew!)

So what I did today (started at 9.30 pm):

- South Beach Diet Total Body Workout Phase 3 (first try, and thought it wasnt enuf to train ma muscles)

- SBD Phase 2 (warmed up a lil)

- (too lazy for SBD Cardio, but I browsed another from exercisetv) Freshman 15! This is good!

- Tank Top Upper Body by Cindy Whitmarsh, she’s great!

I didnt follow the last two very well, some shakes here and there, and gotta work out the balance too. Exercising isnt that bad. In fact I wait for it! I am ready to take a shower and go straight to sleep.

I need to summarize my Micro

>____<

Okay tomorrow’s another day. Night y’all!

Thanks for the comments. I love em! You’re the best!

- People have been telling me that I should do this for myself. Mandy, Jennifer, yeah ur right. I have to do this for myself. I am very health conscious about what I eat but not about exercising. Now I have figured that exercising is very important too. Perhaps there is this evilish motivation to reach my goal because I wanna see how they’ll react when they see my transformation. And I cant deny that I wanna impress my bf too. We wanna impress each other (he used to struggle with weight as well). However, with the support of people here that boost me with their perspective, tips, helps, experiences, I look up to them and see them as motivator and role models. I find goals that I wanna reach, I have never been so driven like this since I chased my opportunities to study abroad. “It’s the CLIMB”. Its the challenge and now I wanna see myself reaching the top. Perhaps I will learn other things along the way as well. I will learn to do this for myself, only that way I can keep it up. Thanks, buddies. -

I was running out of green tea. So yesterday I went to the city centre to buy some rolled leaves. I was kinda fed up of trying to sip only the tea instead of accidentally eat the leaves as well. I live in a small city so it’s not like you can buy everything you need easily. I had been looking for a kind of tea jug ( not teapot.. how do u call it in English actually? ) with a filter that pushes the leaves to the bottom. And yesterday I found it! Discounted as well! Two and half euros! Beautiful! I love my tea jug. I finally can enjoy my green tea to the bottom!!! Hohoho!

As I read some threads in the forum. I began to realize some of my bad (eating) habits such as :

1/ snacking late, after dinner (often)

2/ big portion (always)

(is one 8.5 inch bowl full of lettuce + salmon + cherry tomatoes + yellow pepper too much? )

this is ma left over and the new jug. but i also ate an apple + some pumpkin seeds afterwards. i just cant control my intake when it comes to vegetable and fruits. but i get easily satisfied with meat and poultry products.

3/ sometimes i skip breakfast - just like today, which could also be the reason how I can eat that much lettuce (its 2 pm and that was ma brunch + snack)

4/ i almost never drink water anymore, i drink tea or soymilk. is that gonna be a problem too? (always)

5/ compulsive eating/aggressive nailbiting while studying (for example its either i continuously put foods in my mouth or i bit my nails-i dun eat them!!!- for 5-7 hours staring at human metabolic pathways) –> exam’s coming and omg it cant fit in my head !!! (especially right now)

6/ sleep very late (always), rarely until the next day but it happened before, what do I do? browsing! I like browsing the local-brand distro (distribution outlet, youth-driven business, often art n design college students, ma city is famous for it, ) and last time I put a list of things I wanna buy when I am back home next month.

7/ i spend most of my time sitting on ma desk even tho the sun is out! and city centre doesnt charm me that much anymore (yeah, talking about living in the oldest city, 2500 years, in the Netherlands). i wonder if i have developed sociophobia.

Oh btw, i switch mayo to olive oil as my salad dressing! It doesnt taste that bad huh? In fact I love it! I used to imagine swallowing 3-4 tbsp of oil through ma throat..

Today’s exercise : SB total body work out + 8 min arm + SB cardio interval + probably trying that tease again or yoga thingy